It’s nearly impossible to write an About Me section when you’re still trying to figure out who you are, but I’ll give it a shot.
I’m an ace non-binary trans-masculine writer. There. I said it. Maybe it’s strange to some that typing those few words brought me anxiety, but admitting your reality after years of living in ignorance is terrifying.
For most of my life, I believed I was straight and broken because I didn’t enjoy sex. Ironic, I know, given what I write, but life doesn’t always make sense. In some ways, I wonder if my inability to enjoy the moment, so to speak, led to a fascination with the theory of it all.
Complicating things further, I love being in love. But how can you have love without sex? The answer: equating one to the other is understandable from a parenting standpoint when you’re trying to keep kids from having sex, but it can be damaging to adults who crave one but detest the other.
Since the moment of my birth (possibly before, but I really don’t know much about that) I was labeled as a woman. It wasn’t until I started addressing my discontent that I understood there was more to life than cisgender and transgender. That led to recalling memories of being a little girl, happiest when people mistook me for a boy.
It wasn’t until this year that I fully realized it’s possible to be both transmasculine and non-binary. Let me tell you, if you read that and something resonated, I just saved you some big time therapy dollars. That’s not to say you shouldn’t still go, because I’d marry my therapist if I could, but maybe you won’t spend the months stomping and pouting, unable to articulate how you feel.
Throughout everything, the one constant in my life has been writing. It’s the piece of me I’ve never questioned. It’s my safe harbor, sometimes my escape from everything that’s worrying me.
Thank you for stopping by, for being even a small part of this journey.